Janet is undaunted, but it’s clear we’ll have to adjust our approach to the problem.

I should add a School page to this site. I should gussy it up to include my completed homework assignments.

I realize that the web-site-gussying, as well as my indignant rant about physical science, are partly ways for me to feel busy and dedicated without actually writing my plant report yet. The truth is that I only write well when something strikes me as deserving to be written, and I cannot really tell what will strike me that way vs. what won’t.

Also: I am sore about the grade on my “Things I Have Learned So Far About the Outer Sims” assignment. Happily, at least Crumplebottom won’t be grading the plant report — we have a specialist for science, usually Dr. Wainwright from the Landgraab Science Center, but she’s only here a couple of days a week.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

Your first problem — and it’s a major one — is that you’re not making any sense. Try getting that worked out before you write any more, and good luck to you.

Best,
Ronnie.

(I’m talking about the popular solar calendar, the Gregorian one — not the Mayan one, which is soon to expire anyway. Incidentally, some Outer Sims are quite agitated about that. As if the Mayans had set up a booby-trap to exterminate their descendants after hundreds of years just by numbering things in a certain way. As I said, these Outer people really do not have it all figured out.)

Proposing Marriage
In some places, tradition holds that women may propose marriage to men only on this day, or (more leniently) only in years that have such a day. A man who declines must pay a fine to the woman. I suppose that the whole rest of the time, according to that tradition, women may propose only to other women.

I shall not be proposing to any boys today. Boys… it’s not that I dislike them, but I can’t picture liking one enough to risk being permanently stuck. Perhaps if the fine were quite large and the boy were quite certain to refuse my proposal, then I might give it a try. But that seems like it would be mean to the boy.

Oh, if there were a boy both very rich and very obnoxious, it might be a good idea for all the girls to propose. Presumably he can accept only zero or one of us, and then all the rest would certainly be entitled to the fine. If some girl is accepted who doesn’t want to be, then I hope she is permitted to break it off upon payment of a similar fine, which could be funded by shares contributed by the others. I think it could all be made to work out.

The Mod the Sims Calendar
Despite my poking fun at the Outer Sims about time zones etc., they’ve gone and made something very nice for us: a calendar, done in their style but made from lovely photographs of Sims. There are versions for Sims 2 and Sims 3.You hang it in a Sim’s house like any other object, and it can show any of their twelve incomprehensible months (each with a different photograph.) Go look at it, it really is nicely done.

As any player knows, if you leave the game running and give your Sims no guidance, we screw up. We just can’t quite get it together to do what we need to be doing. Give a household of Sims a little free time, and you’ll likely find us all playing in the sprinkler, or re-reading “Where’s Bella?” for the umpteenth time, or watching TV or playing computer games. Fun is fun… until we die because we forgot to feed ourselves or fix the plumbing or something. You know this, so I’m not embarrassed to admit it. Sims are better off – and happier – when you guide us to learn some skills, and to build relationships by doing things for each other, rather than only for ourselves.

Now, on Feb. 18 you’re going to demonstrate your importance by banding together and firmly demanding –- what? That someone make improvements to your favorite computer game?

Dear Gods! Is this what we have a plumbob for? What a crushing disappointment! If that’s all there is, you know, we Sims are perfectly able to play games all day without a player’s help. We had been hoping for something better than that. That path, we know where it leads. We don’t want you to be found dead at an early age, without skills or relationships, lying in a puddle of pee.

Whether or not we call it a boycott, maybe we could use a break from each other. You’ve spent so much time helping us with our skills. Now we owe you some time off, so that you can skill up a little on the subject of boycotts and what’s worth protesting.

Between now and Feb. 18, there are three holidays that would be excellent for that purpose.

The first is the birthday of Dr. King. What a splendid time to read at least something about the Montgomery bus boycott! You’d get a little perspective, and be able to sound more intelligent by the time your own event arrives. If you live in the US, you’ll probably get something in school about the “Dream” speech, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. It’s the boycott. Do some Googling on your own and find out what that was like — not because it’s an assignment or to write a report on it, but rather because it is interesting and relevant to what you’re planning to do.

The second occasion is the Lunar New Year. It’s celebrated by Asians whether or not they live in Asia. In fact I’m pretty sure that if you’re reading this, you are not in China. How do I know? Simple: if you were, you wouldn’t be allowed to see this picture… … nor could you accept my suggestion that you ask around to find out what it is, why it’s famous, and what the young people — students and soldiers — were doing in that city.

Some of you have the expansion pack that lets your Sims visit a simulated China, right? Been there, done that? When you’re ready for the next level: you try visiting the real China… with Bibles in your suitcase. Or Qu’rans. Or that picture. OK, I admit that’s probably too challenging. Instead, just try to learn something about the picture, OK? And think about the fact that of all the humans on Earth, about one in five of you lives under that government. And that government has more than a few tanks.

The third occasion is Valentine’s Day. Sims have always been a warm, romantic people. Perhaps some of your wishes for improvements to the game involve romantic interactions. Add a wish of mine: I wish Sim couples could walk together holding hands! I am so pleased that you humans can do that – it is a very sweet thing to see. Do you realize that a great many humans – including a lot of people your age – cannot do it except at the price of being taunted, ostracized or beaten? Please, would you take this Valentine’s Day as an occasion to consider how all those roses and hearts and candies look and feel to people who are not allowed to love the people they love, who can only share in the celebration if they’re willing to risk humiliation or worse. Do you have any friends or classmates who don’t quite fit the Hallmark image of the holiday? Is there anything you can think of, between now and Feb. 14, that would make it a happier occasion for them? Even if you don’t have any gay or bi friends (or you don’t know that you do), maybe you can just speak and act in a way that, if such a person were listening, they’d be able to tell that you’re not being a jerk.

That’s three things for your action queue. But they are pretty modest, reasonable things, and you’ve the whole time between now and Feb. 18 to fit them in. My theory is that if you do, then by that time, you’ll be better equipped to choose your targets and tactics and carry out your actions successfully.

I would just ask that when you’re away from the game, that you Save and Quit, so that we don’t all pee ourselves whilst waiting for you to return.

Suul-suul,
Ronnie.

I am careful in my Comic to give credit where it is due. But if the proposed law were to pass, anyone who alleged that I had used their material — say, a fragment of song lyrics — could immediately shut down not just my blog, but the entire site of my hosting provider. Under those conditions, who would want to provide hosting for blogs, or for any material that didn’t come from their lawyers?

Since anyone can accuse anyone — for example, anyone can accuse you — of anything, we oughtn’t to pass laws that provide no recourse for the accused.

The black bar links to AmericanCensorship.org which organized a national action day-before-yesterday in the States. This post is late for that, because I really do not understand time zones. You can read about more ongoing efforts at protectinnovation.com.

At just the same time that our world admitted animals, Mr. Terry Thompson of the Outer world, also under financial strain, released a lot of big, big animals that he had kept as pets — and then killed himself. A huge, sickening number of those animals had to be shot by people who hated having to do it, but… suppose you’re a deputy sheriff and there are tigers on the loose right now… it’s all dreadfully screwed up, and the only tool you have for un-screwing it is a shotgun, and people could die if you don’t use it. I would hate that.

I know I’m not the first to say this, but – if Mr. Thompson was worried about who would take care of his Pets after his death, why didn’t he ask someone? We Sims would have been happy to take them. I don’t know what it would require in terms of technology, and life within a computer game has some severe constraints. But my heart tells me to try to offer them some choice better than to be killed in the middle of the night in Zanesville, Ohio by a deputy with tears in his eyes, for no better reason than that somebody screwed up.

Lindsay Wildlife Museum, http://www.wildlife-museum.org, takes an approach I hope you will look at. They are in the States –- in Northern Califonia you can visit them. But even if you are nowhere near there, please look at their fine Web site, and see what they do. Then you will have some good context to understand what your own neighbourhood has, or might need. Quoting from the Lindsay site:

“Lindsay Wildlife Museum’s wildlife hospital is the oldest and one of the largest rehabilitation centers in the United States. It treats more than 5,000 injured and orphaned wild animals each year. The hospital is a pioneer in wildlife rehabilitation and many now-standard protocols across the country were developed here.

“More than 98 percent of the animals treated at our hospital are admitted due to adverse contact with human activity. Animals are brought to the museum by the public and the county animal service agency. All services provided by the wildlife hospital are free of charge, although donations are gratefully accepted. Along with treating animals, the museum educates the public to prevent similar problems in the future.” [emphasis is mine – Ronnie.]