I hear that some gamers are organizing a “Boycott The Sims 3” protest from Feb. 18 to 25 upcoming. Basically what they’re protesting is the quality of the game, the cost and quality of expansion packs and so forth. As a Sim, I want to address this post to those players who plan to join the protest.

As any player knows, if you leave the game running and give your Sims no guidance, we screw up. We just can’t quite get it together to do what we need to be doing. Give a household of Sims a little free time, and you’ll likely find us all playing in the sprinkler, or re-reading “Where’s Bella?” for the umpteenth time, or watching TV or playing computer games. Fun is fun… until we die because we forgot to feed ourselves or fix the plumbing or something. You know this, so I’m not embarrassed to admit it. Sims are better off – and happier – when you guide us to learn some skills, and to build relationships by doing things for each other, rather than only for ourselves.

Now, on Feb. 18 you’re going to demonstrate your importance by banding together and firmly demanding –- what? That someone make improvements to your favorite computer game?

Dear Gods! Is this what we have a plumbob for? What a crushing disappointment! If that’s all there is, you know, we Sims are perfectly able to play games all day without a player’s help. We had been hoping for something better than that. That path, we know where it leads. We don’t want you to be found dead at an early age, without skills or relationships, lying in a puddle of pee.

Whether or not we call it a boycott, maybe we could use a break from each other. You’ve spent so much time helping us with our skills. Now we owe you some time off, so that you can skill up a little on the subject of boycotts and what’s worth protesting.

Between now and Feb. 18, there are three holidays that would be excellent for that purpose.

The first is the birthday of Dr. King. What a splendid time to read at least something about the Montgomery bus boycott! You’d get a little perspective, and be able to sound more intelligent by the time your own event arrives. If you live in the US, you’ll probably get something in school about the “Dream” speech, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. It’s the boycott. Do some Googling on your own and find out what that was like — not because it’s an assignment or to write a report on it, but rather because it is interesting and relevant to what you’re planning to do.

The second occasion is the Lunar New Year. It’s celebrated by Asians whether or not they live in Asia. In fact I’m pretty sure that if you’re reading this, you are not in China. How do I know? Simple: if you were, you wouldn’t be allowed to see this picture… … nor could you accept my suggestion that you ask around to find out what it is, why it’s famous, and what the young people — students and soldiers — were doing in that city.

Some of you have the expansion pack that lets your Sims visit a simulated China, right? Been there, done that? When you’re ready for the next level: you try visiting the real China… with Bibles in your suitcase. Or Qu’rans. Or that picture. OK, I admit that’s probably too challenging. Instead, just try to learn something about the picture, OK? And think about the fact that of all the humans on Earth, about one in five of you lives under that government. And that government has more than a few tanks.

The third occasion is Valentine’s Day. Sims have always been a warm, romantic people. Perhaps some of your wishes for improvements to the game involve romantic interactions. Add a wish of mine: I wish Sim couples could walk together holding hands! I am so pleased that you humans can do that – it is a very sweet thing to see. Do you realize that a great many humans – including a lot of people your age – cannot do it except at the price of being taunted, ostracized or beaten? Please, would you take this Valentine’s Day as an occasion to consider how all those roses and hearts and candies look and feel to people who are not allowed to love the people they love, who can only share in the celebration if they’re willing to risk humiliation or worse. Do you have any friends or classmates who don’t quite fit the Hallmark image of the holiday? Is there anything you can think of, between now and Feb. 14, that would make it a happier occasion for them? Even if you don’t have any gay or bi friends (or you don’t know that you do), maybe you can just speak and act in a way that, if such a person were listening, they’d be able to tell that you’re not being a jerk.

That’s three things for your action queue. But they are pretty modest, reasonable things, and you’ve the whole time between now and Feb. 18 to fit them in. My theory is that if you do, then by that time, you’ll be better equipped to choose your targets and tactics and carry out your actions successfully.

I would just ask that when you’re away from the game, that you Save and Quit, so that we don’t all pee ourselves whilst waiting for you to return.

Suul-suul,
Ronnie.